Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?
I was talking with a client the other day about the vital importance of self-love and the steps to take to achieve it. As part of my sessions, I always ask them what they say to themselves when they look in the mirror and throughout the day. She rattled off an endless array of very unkind and hurtful comments, to say the least. I asked her if she would ever say those same things to a friend and she replied, “absolutely not!” She then confessed she was her own worst enemy and had done that since she could remember. I assured her she was far from alone and that, in truth, most of us are our ‘own worst enemy.’
Why is it we wouldn’t think of saying such things to others yet find it so easy to be cruel to ourselves? Why aren’t you treating the only person who will be with you to your very last breath with love and self-compassion?
If you’ve ever held a newborn baby in your arms, like most people, the thoughts and feelings that overcome you are pretty powerful. Words such as miracle, blessing, gift, pure, innocence, joy, and perfection, flood our minds and emotions. We are awestruck by this little bundle of joy, so new and perfect in the world. So what happens just a few years later? Does the fact that we go from being a newborn to a young child, to an adult, really change the miracle of that which we are? It shouldn’t, but it does. How do you and I go from being this “gift to the world,” to being someone we privately dislike or despise? Where along the way did we become less than perfection, a blessing, or a miracle to behold? At what age did you first believe you weren’t special or great? Who told you that and why did you believe them?
So many questions…with answers that tend to lead right back to one’s childhood. If parents weren’t shown love when they were little children, how can they show their own children love? The far majority of parents do not say things with the intent to hurt, they are simply repeating those same unconscious comments that were said to them when they were growing up. Because small children take things literally, they believe they are what their parents say they are. If a parent or other authority tells the child they are stupid, ugly, lazy, or worthless, the child will see themselves as exactly that and become that.
William James said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitude of mind.” Here’s an effective way to change your outdated and unhealthy beliefs: Think of your mind like a field. You can plant in the field whatever you choose…the field doesn’t care. It is up to you, the farmer, to make the decision of what to plant. It will return what you plant but it doesn’t care what you plant. You can plant a seed that will yield food that is rich with nourishment, or you can plant a seed that is pure poison and will destroy your body, mind, and soul. Your thoughts literally feed or starve your SOUL!
The choice is always yours. Your subconscious mind believes whatever you tell it. Saying hurtful things about yourself erodes the very fabric of your life. Pay attention to what you are telling yourself! From this day forward you can stop being your own worst enemy and instead become your best ally. Choose loving, supportive thoughts and life will, and must, support you back.
Your thoughts are your greatest friend or foe. As you sow, so shall you reap. No one can make you think anything but you. Change your thoughts, change your life, and know that you truly do become what you think about all day long.
