Do Not Fall Prey to Self-Betrayal
Have you given much thought lately (if ever) to ways you may be betraying yourself?
I ask this important question because of a conclusion I arrived at while working primarily with cancer patients over the years. There was a common denominator amongst many that I felt would be beneficial to share with you here.
Before I continue, allow me to give you a little background on myself which will help to explain the above. For the past fifteen years, the focus of my work has been in the field of psychoneuroimmunology/PNI. PNI is a field that addresses how the mind and emotions affect the immune system. In other words, how your physical body deals with anger, blame, shame, guilt, and unforgiveness to name a few, all falling under the umbrella called “stress.” But stress in and of itself is not a disease. The amount of stress you feel is a good indicator of identifying how well you are, or are not, handling various life experiences. There is also good stress and bad stress. Good stress is beneficial, motivating, and inspires you to go for your dreams. Bad stress (dis-stress), drastically compromises your immune system and is one of the largest contributing factors to dis-ease of all types. Chronic, unresolved stress dramatically shortens life!
During sessions, I assist clients in uncovering the root cause of their dis-ease, ie: what is causing them the most distress. For many, these deep emotional events, traumas, and memories have been buried for decades. Since we can only heal what is revealed, once the cause of their distress is identified, we can then take steps to clear it.
Back to the common denominator, I mentioned above. What I found to be a consistent theme amongst many of the patients I saw was that they were betraying themselves, most without conscious knowledge of it. You see, most of us have gotten quite good at fooling ourselves. We put on a happy face and pretend that “all is well,” when deep inside, something is eating away at us and we are feeling anything but “well.”
There was a patient I assisted in her mid-50’s, I’ll call her Jane. In every session we had, Jane insisted that she did love herself. (Learning how to love oneself is a critical and often over-looked step in healing.) She proceeded to tell me how she lived in a lovely home on the water, that she took several vacations throughout the year, would buy herself nice things, and pamper herself whenever she desired, so she really thought she was showing herself, love. Most readers here might agree. But material possessions do not sustain us for long when the heart yearns for something more. The soul simply will not allow us to compromise what is its mission to achieve. It took Jane 5 or 6 weeks of dissecting events from the past before she could see a “life theme” of betrayal emerge, that started in her late teens and continued until her cancer diagnosis. Jane was quite shocked and saddened to realize how many times she sold out on her own dreams to appease those of others around her, and clearly saw that betraying herself was not an act of self-love at all. The wonderful news is, Jane’s shock and sadness quickly turned to joy when she learned she was now cancer-free!
The Law of Love states that we are unfailingly responsible to act with love in every thought, word, deed, intent, motive, and action. Each one of us is required to learn this truth without exception IF we desire a healthy, joyful life. Like Jane, when we no longer fall prey to self-betrayal, this life pattern will cease to be and a life you love will be yours.
