The Art of Non-Judgment
Have you considered areas of your life where you may be a little judgmental?
Like most people, you probably don’t consider yourself to be judgmental. However, if you have ever started a sentence with “I’m not being judgmental but, ……” and then fill in the blank, you’re being judgmental. As if prefacing the statement this way excuses what we are about to say next. It may hurt to admit, but don’t we all judge to some degree?
Just because everyone does it, does it make it okay? I’ve long said that our judgments create all our issues, and impact us more than we know. Anger, resentment, and jealousy, to name a few, are feelings that get triggered in us when we judge. The side effect of comparing, labeling, and judging create separation and conflict within. Wherever conflict and division exist, dis-ease to varying degrees exists, too.
We judge people for the way they look, what they do, and how they act. We judge others for their religious beliefs, race, nationality, culture, political affiliation, and sexual orientation. It doesn’t stop there. We judge our children and our parents. We compare the relationship we are in today to relationships from the past. We compare and continuously judge EVERYTHING without even realizing it.
The reason this is so vital to look at is, aware of it or not, your judgments impact your peace, health, and well-being a great deal. For example, one of my patients would get downright irate over people who bought foreign cars. He felt adamant that it was wrong to support foreign car manufacturers. His judgment around this area triggered anger in him every time he drove down the road and saw someone driving a foreign car. Most of us are unconscious of our judgments, or believe, “it’s just the way I am,” but they affect us deeply. Anger creates acid in the body and disease can only live in an acid environment, so who does this judgment hurt more than the one harboring it? He had to look at other areas of his life he held similar judgments and beliefs and had to clear them. We must do the same.
William Shakespeare made a very profound statement when writing, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” Our judgments are simply a construct of the mind and NOTHING MORE. We have a mental model of how the universe should function and when something happens that doesn’t fit our beliefs, discontent arises. Therefore, what causes suffering are your thoughts ABOUT people, places, and conditions, not the people, places, and conditions themselves. As you pay more attention to where, how, and who you are judging, you can release these damaging beliefs about how you and others “should be.” You are then in the position to embrace your uniqueness and theirs, and able to accept yourself and others for who they are, where they are, on the path to self-actualization.
Every great teacher that has walked the Earth has taught, do not judge. If you find yourself judging, don’t judge yourself further for judging! Acknowledging that we are all works in progress allows us to be much more tolerant of everyone.
My favorite poet, Rumi, is famous for saying, “Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrongdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” Please join me in creating a field, a place on planet Earth, that supports one and all on the road to fulfillment and Love. It is my hope that applying “The Art of Non-judgment” will assist you on this journey.
