Do You Suffer from ‘Not Good Enough-itis?’
Over the years, I’ve come across a condition that is SO common I decided to give it its own name. This condition is called “Not Good Enough-Itis.” Not Good Enough-Itis is rampant in our society, showing up everywhere. No matter what we do or how hard we try, or how hard we work…we just aren’t good enough! We’re also not smart enough, productive enough, pretty enough, old enough, young enough, fit enough, skinny enough, successful enough, rich enough…we’re simply not enough!
Gerald Jampolsky, M.D., makes a great point when saying: “Most of us would avoid taking drugs that we know have detrimental side effects. Yet much of the time we are not very selective about the thoughts that we put in our minds ~ nor are aware of the toxic effects these thoughts can have on our bodies.”
When we understand that almost all of our programming, both negative and positive, was ingrained in us by the time we were three years old, we can begin to see where most of our beliefs stem from. If you grew up in a less than supportive, nurturing environment and often told you were wrong, stupid, bad, or lazy, could have gotten better grades or done better at this or that, inside you still lives that hurt, little child who wanted nothing more than approval and acceptance of your parent(s). Today, the adult “you” is still desperately searching it out. Many turn to drugs and alcohol to medicate the hurt and pain of not “measuring up,” but that only creates further disillusionment and self-disappointment.
It usually isn’t with malicious intent that a parent or other respected adult attempts to guide children in becoming their “best” by making comments they thought would be motivating. Unfortunately, how it is received and interpreted from the child’s perspective is that their “best” just doesn’t measure up and will never be good enough. How do we know what our “best” really is? After all, couldn’t we always do or be better? Is our “best” EVER attainable?? This creates the perfect storm in believing we’ll never be good enough, so why try?
Having clarity on where these misperceptions of self stem from, you can DECIDE to stop rerunning those old tapes that keep you stuck in feeling doubt, self-rejection, and not good enough. Quieting the voice that tells you, “you aren’t enough” takes diligence, but quiet it you must if you wish to free yourself from it. With time, the voice becomes a whisper that eventually fades away…
When you can let go of the need for outside approval and neutralize this false identity with a healthy dose of forgiveness and self-compassion, you begin to heal. As you become gentler with yourself by thinking and saying loving, kind comments, self-approval will become easier for you. With time, you will begin to embody this new identity. Your confidence will build and loving and accepting yourself will become natural once again.
In truth, you already are more than “good enough” to have everything and be anything in your life you desire. There is no competition other than what you place on yourself. The only opinion of you that truly matters is your own.
There is nothing for you to become or do, other than simply being beautiful, authentic YOU!
Consider this mantra to set yourself Free… I AM ENOUGH, FOR ME!
